I planned on having something ere by now, I guess when you have 5000 thoughts in your head and you are trying to pull it out and make sense of it, it takes some time. I am playing an online game that has helped me get my mind off things for a little bit at a time. It's kind of like trying to wall up a flood, you can hold it off for a little while at a time but sooner or later its going to come rushing back in.
So yes I am still here unfortunately. I will try and get my thoughts and feelings out so anyone who finds this can at least observe my final thoughts. Maybe it will help someone, maybe it won't. I just want to try and get it out in time before everything caves in on me. I hope I can do it.
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